Well, it has begun. The 2008 Summer movie season is upon us and, for once, there’s not an ogre or swashbuckler in sight. Instead, we have a dashing archaeologist, an intrepid caped crusader, and four sprightly femme fatales from Manhattan prepared to follow Iron Man’s lead and carry us through to the four month crapshoot known as Oscar season. Records will be broken, prices will rise, and a whole new generation of filmgoers will be swept up in the scintillating euphoria of Tinseltown, but the million dollar question still remains: Can studios deliver the goods?
I’d like to think so, but if last year’s sequel-happy crop was any indication, these corporate-dominated yes-men aren’t always infallible in their script selection. Despite grossing over $9 billion in 2007 alone, none of the major blockbusters had the excellence to match their mind-boggling allure. Instead of the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly, we had the superb (“The Bourne Ultimatum”), the substandard (“POTC: At World’s End“), and the downright ghastly (Rob Zombie’s “Halloween”). Then again, isn’t that what Summer is all about?
We’re given a few great ones, a few bad ones, and the rest are just caught in the shuffle hoping to find a resurgence courtesy of Blockbuster and Netflix. So without further adieu, I present twenty films that I believe will provide clear and convincing evidence that the lost art of movie-going is indeed alive and well in the immediate-gratification capital of the world.
May
“Speed Racer” - Five years after their beloved brain child “The Matrix” came to a disastrous conclusion, the Brothers Wachowski return with this revamped Willy Wonka version of everyone’s favorite 1960’s Japanese cartoon. Emile Hirsch assumes the title role in what looks like another piece of mind-numbing eye candy, but I expect that anyone under the age of ten would have a blast indulging in the sights and sounds of this Nascar-on-steroids speed fest.
“The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian” - Fans of C.S. Lewis’s spellbinding fantasy novels will find themselves enthralled by the whimsical effects and glaring religious overtones, but seeing as how it’s essentially sandwiched between “Iron Man” and “Indiana Jones,” the ticket sales may fail to impress.
“Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull” - At 65, Harrison Ford is once again donning the hat and cracking the whip in hopes of successfully resurrecting one of Hollywood’s most illustrious icons. Personally, I’ll be in line opening night regardless of any negative buzz, because it can’t possibly be as bad as “The Phantom Menace” right?
“Sex and the City: The Movie” - I’ve never watched the show and have no interest in seeing it, but something tells me that women between the ages of twenty-five and forty-five will come out in droves and drag their significant others with them.
June
“The Incredible Hulk” - Replacing Eric Bana with Edward Norton will bring much-needed introspection and force to this franchise, so I’m hoping that director Louis Leterrier is prepared to rise to the occasion. As long as he lets Norton do his thing and puts substance before style, we could be looking at serious contender in the overall box office picture.
“The Happening” - Shyamalan’s career is floundering following “The Village” and “Lady in the Water,” so he’s in dire need of both a critical and financial rebound. Most of the plot is under wraps, but the inspired casting of Mark Wahlberg and Zooey Deschanel should make for a rousing two hours of apocalyptic bedlam.
“Wall-E” - Pixar is on a creative hot streak after churning out “Cars” and “Ratatouille” in ‘06 and ‘07 respectively and this tale of a robotic trash-compactor has the potential to be their best ever. Voice work from Jeff Garlin, Fred Willard, and Sigourney Weaver will further add to the appeal.
“The Love Guru” - I think it’s safe to say that fans of Mike Myers would’ve been happier with a fourth Austin Powers film. Unfortunately, we’re stuck with this oddball picture about an American self-help guru trying to repair the shattered relationship of an NHL superstar.
“Get Smart” - Steve Carell is arguably the funniest comedic performer on the planet and his work on “The 40-Year-Old Virgin” and “The Office” is pure genius, so while I’m not sold on this film as a whole, his presence should make it watchable.
July
“Hancock” - “Will Smith as an alcoholic superhero trying to repair his image” is all I need to hear to know it’ll be a smash.
“Hellboy II: The Golden Army” - I have to admit that I haven’t seen the first one, so I can’t really shed any light on where exactly this sequel is headed. However, I have seen Guillermo del Toro’s magnificent work on “Pan’s Labyrinth” and “The Devil’s Backbone,” so I’m sure he’ll adhere to the same standard of excellence.
“The Dark Knight” - I can’t possibly say anything that hasn’t already been said a thousand times over.
“Step Brothers” - Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly as two grown men who become brothers after their single parents tie the knot. Throw in writer/director Adam McKay (“Anchorman”) and this tiresome premise could have some life left after all.
“The X-Files: I Want to Believe” - Ten years have passed since Mulder and Scully last graced the silver screen, but their chemistry is still as passionate as it’s ever been. Director Chris Carter has been mute on the plot and doesn’t appear to be cracking anytime soon. As if we expected anything less.
August
“The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor” - I know, I know. Why did we need another chapter of this overblown adventure farce? Well, I can’t say what Cohen was thinking, but with Fraser back and Jet Li thrown into the fire, how bad could it be?
“Pineapple Express” - David Gordon Green tackles this stoner romp starring Seth Rogen and James Franco. If the trailer is any indication, it’s going to be hilarious.
“Tropic Thunder” - Ben Stiller, Jack Black, and Robert Downey Jr. star as actors who travel to Vietnam to film a war movie and end up involved in a real-life conflict. Any questions?
“Bangkok Dangerous” - Nicolas Cage gallivanting around Thailand with a bunch of unknowns? Count me in.
“The International” - Clive Owen as an Interpol agent trying to dismantle an international arms dealer. Naomi Watts also stars.
“Babylon A.D.” - Vin Diesel and Michelle Yeoh take on a lethal virus that could wipe out the entire population. My thoughts exactly.
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