Best - "In Bruges," "Forgetting Sarah Marshall," "Recount," "An American Crime," "Iron Man," "Cloverfield," and "Snow Angels"
Worst - "10,000 B.C.," "One Missed Call," and "Jumper"
Thursday, June 12, 2008
10,000 B.C., Romulus, My Father, and Jumper
“10,000 B.C.” is the latest exercise in commercial schlock from Roland Emmerich that really has no redeeming attributes whatsoever. From the opening line of Omar Sharif’s pseudo-intellectual narration, I had an insidious feeling that sitting through one-hundred minutes of this comically overblown junker would be a strenuous endeavor. How awful is it? Let’s just say that the best acting job is turned in by a virtual Sabretooth tiger.
The least Emmerich could’ve done is give the audience some big-budget special effects to compensate for his apparent lack of focus, but he didn’t he even do that. He insists on trying to get by with derisory characters and some mythological mumbo jumbo involving “four legged demons,” which is quite asinine seeing as how nothing even remotely resembling a plot ever rears its head. I could go on forever about how much of a joke this all is, but does it really matter?
All you need to know is that the performances are lazy, the dialogue is laughable, and, frankly, I’ve seen more striking visuals on the Discovery Channel. Not even the much-hyped Sabretooth could spring some life into this stale excuse for a blockbuster, so I highly recommend finding a more pleasurable way to spend a night out at the movies.
- ½ out of 4
I caught an advance screening of “Romulus, My Father” on HD Net last week and was actually quite engaged by its disquieting depiction of immigrant life in 1960’s Australia. Eric Bana delivers one of his most deeply affecting performances as a struggling Romanian trying to maintain an apt existence for his family and captures the solemnity of dead end farm life with sizeable integrity.
The way in which he communicates with his son can be very tender at times even if Kodi Smit-McPhee walks a fine line between enthusiastic and irritating throughout most of the film. Their bond is one of enduring grace and reverence, so no matter how grueling their living conditions become, they will always be right behind one another.
As Bana’s estranged wife, Franka Potente strays a long distance from “The Bourne Identity” to give a manically disheartening take on a loopy housewife who suddenly develops an insatiable sexual appetite that only pushes her further away from responsiblity. Together, they make an obscure tale of Australian farm living into a dense domestic drama equipped with an ending worthy of an ambiguously anticlimactic literary tale.
- *** out of 4
Doug Liman’s “Jumper” is a wannabe action flick supported by a seemingly half-baked premise involving teleportation and felonies, not necessarily in that order. He opens with a blithe glimpse into the life of a troubled young man who unexpectedly discovers that he can travel anywhere in the world without thinking twice, but sadly flies off course during a jumbled, ineffective collage of fast-paced techno crap. I guess after the success of “The Bourne Identity” and “Mr. and Mrs. Smith,” Liman has decided to let creativity escape through the front window in favor of tepid thrills and overproduced noisemaking that never amounts to much more than a forgettable distraction.
Hayden Christensen (as usual) comes off as way too whiny and uninspiring for me to care and not even the “Colossus of Camp” Samuel L. Jackson can rescue this one from an early demise. As great as he is, I often question some of the choices Jackson has made over the past few years and hope that he still has another “Pulp Fiction” or “A Time to Kill” left in the tank. I didn’t totally hate this film, but none of it really resonated enough to warrant an elaborate plot dissection.
Had I been a “jumper” myself, I could’ve extricated myself without having to sit through the rest of this pitiful wreck. But as Jackson’s Roland says, “Only God should have this power.”
- * ½ out of 4
Side Note: I originally settled on one star, but the fact that the creators actually know of The Tragically Hip song “Ahead By a Century” is worth a half star in itself. Also, that nickname I developed for Jackson, it’s taken, so come up with your own.
The least Emmerich could’ve done is give the audience some big-budget special effects to compensate for his apparent lack of focus, but he didn’t he even do that. He insists on trying to get by with derisory characters and some mythological mumbo jumbo involving “four legged demons,” which is quite asinine seeing as how nothing even remotely resembling a plot ever rears its head. I could go on forever about how much of a joke this all is, but does it really matter?
All you need to know is that the performances are lazy, the dialogue is laughable, and, frankly, I’ve seen more striking visuals on the Discovery Channel. Not even the much-hyped Sabretooth could spring some life into this stale excuse for a blockbuster, so I highly recommend finding a more pleasurable way to spend a night out at the movies.
- ½ out of 4
I caught an advance screening of “Romulus, My Father” on HD Net last week and was actually quite engaged by its disquieting depiction of immigrant life in 1960’s Australia. Eric Bana delivers one of his most deeply affecting performances as a struggling Romanian trying to maintain an apt existence for his family and captures the solemnity of dead end farm life with sizeable integrity.
The way in which he communicates with his son can be very tender at times even if Kodi Smit-McPhee walks a fine line between enthusiastic and irritating throughout most of the film. Their bond is one of enduring grace and reverence, so no matter how grueling their living conditions become, they will always be right behind one another.
As Bana’s estranged wife, Franka Potente strays a long distance from “The Bourne Identity” to give a manically disheartening take on a loopy housewife who suddenly develops an insatiable sexual appetite that only pushes her further away from responsiblity. Together, they make an obscure tale of Australian farm living into a dense domestic drama equipped with an ending worthy of an ambiguously anticlimactic literary tale.
- *** out of 4
Doug Liman’s “Jumper” is a wannabe action flick supported by a seemingly half-baked premise involving teleportation and felonies, not necessarily in that order. He opens with a blithe glimpse into the life of a troubled young man who unexpectedly discovers that he can travel anywhere in the world without thinking twice, but sadly flies off course during a jumbled, ineffective collage of fast-paced techno crap. I guess after the success of “The Bourne Identity” and “Mr. and Mrs. Smith,” Liman has decided to let creativity escape through the front window in favor of tepid thrills and overproduced noisemaking that never amounts to much more than a forgettable distraction.
Hayden Christensen (as usual) comes off as way too whiny and uninspiring for me to care and not even the “Colossus of Camp” Samuel L. Jackson can rescue this one from an early demise. As great as he is, I often question some of the choices Jackson has made over the past few years and hope that he still has another “Pulp Fiction” or “A Time to Kill” left in the tank. I didn’t totally hate this film, but none of it really resonated enough to warrant an elaborate plot dissection.
Had I been a “jumper” myself, I could’ve extricated myself without having to sit through the rest of this pitiful wreck. But as Jackson’s Roland says, “Only God should have this power.”
- * ½ out of 4
Side Note: I originally settled on one star, but the fact that the creators actually know of The Tragically Hip song “Ahead By a Century” is worth a half star in itself. Also, that nickname I developed for Jackson, it’s taken, so come up with your own.
Untraceable and Vantage Point
Diane Lane’s career has been something of a roller coaster since she last wowed audiences with her fearless sexual oomph in Adrian Lyne’s “Unfaithful,” but she can always be relied upon to lift even the most horrid material. Her latest film “Untraceable” fits not-so-nicely into that category, because no matter how hard she tries, things just become more and more tangled up in a tedious web of “Been there, done that” sadomasochism. I mean, how much can director Gregory Hoblit (“Fracture”) really expect from a bunch of “Saw” and “Hostel” cast-offs?
Despite Lane’s presence, everything about this movie felt lazy and uninspired to the point of near-unwatchability. Somehow, the idea of a cyber-sadist using a supposedly undetectable web site to watch his victims die doesn’t quite cut it for me, so before you get too excited, think about the plenitude of better films available and make a financially wise decision.
- ** out of 4
“Vantage Point” is kind of a mixed bag. It has a spirited array of slickly composed chase scenes and worthy performances, but the chance of gaining any palpable insight into the plot is lost amidst all the painstaking repetition. Every time we think that the motivation for bombing will be revealed, the camera cuts away in a “Memento”-esque fashion only to never rise to that elite level of precision.
Don’t get me wrong. I enjoyed much of what was happening, but after the 5th or 6th rewind, I was hoping for a real stunner and wasn’t given one. So much time is spent trying to look cutting edge that too many loose ends are left untied, so while Pete Travis’s film is visually exciting, something was definitely missing in action.
- ** ½ out of 4
Despite Lane’s presence, everything about this movie felt lazy and uninspired to the point of near-unwatchability. Somehow, the idea of a cyber-sadist using a supposedly undetectable web site to watch his victims die doesn’t quite cut it for me, so before you get too excited, think about the plenitude of better films available and make a financially wise decision.
- ** out of 4
“Vantage Point” is kind of a mixed bag. It has a spirited array of slickly composed chase scenes and worthy performances, but the chance of gaining any palpable insight into the plot is lost amidst all the painstaking repetition. Every time we think that the motivation for bombing will be revealed, the camera cuts away in a “Memento”-esque fashion only to never rise to that elite level of precision.
Don’t get me wrong. I enjoyed much of what was happening, but after the 5th or 6th rewind, I was hoping for a real stunner and wasn’t given one. So much time is spent trying to look cutting edge that too many loose ends are left untied, so while Pete Travis’s film is visually exciting, something was definitely missing in action.
- ** ½ out of 4
Harold and Kumar Escape From Guantanamo Bay
If you ask me, the latest installment of John Cho and Kal Penn’s lascivious exercise in bong-fueled foolery should’ve been titled “Harold and Kumar Escape From Guantanamo Bay (in under ten minutes),” because that’s really all it takes. From the moment they’re taken into custody, we never really get the notion of any real danger due to their knack for weaseling out of the most precarious situations. Whether it’s the Department of Homeland Security or the Ku Klux Klan, no one seems formidable enough to contain the dynamic duo on their quest for unadulterated hedonism, so I’m surprised to say that I actually enjoyed much of what they brought to the table.
Together, Cho and Penn are almost like a modern-day Cheech and Chong who certainly enjoy their share of marijuana, but also have some sporadically humorous observations regarding race and how the Bush Administration has approached the war on terror.
For instance, the scene in which the president invites them into his secret lair to get away from Dick Cheney works well, because writers Jon Hurwitz and Hayden Schlossberg are able to shrewdly skewer Bush without coming across as too pretentious or heavy-handed. They feed directly off his country boy persona and frequent annihilation of the English language, which is really no worse than anything a comedian or late-night pundit has already done.
As for the rest of the plot, much of it feels recycled from “White Castle” and probably won’t be universally remembered when bigger and better movies come around. Sure, SVU’s Christopher Meloni was highly amusing as the KKK’s Grand Wizard and Neil Patrick Harris is back to his old disorderly self, but most of it felt like different incarnations of the same joke. The exuberance level may not be what it was four years ago, but the fun-spirited exploits are still very much in play. So while I don’t think a third is really necessary, it wouldn’t exactly be the worst thing.
- ** ½ out of 4
Together, Cho and Penn are almost like a modern-day Cheech and Chong who certainly enjoy their share of marijuana, but also have some sporadically humorous observations regarding race and how the Bush Administration has approached the war on terror.
For instance, the scene in which the president invites them into his secret lair to get away from Dick Cheney works well, because writers Jon Hurwitz and Hayden Schlossberg are able to shrewdly skewer Bush without coming across as too pretentious or heavy-handed. They feed directly off his country boy persona and frequent annihilation of the English language, which is really no worse than anything a comedian or late-night pundit has already done.
As for the rest of the plot, much of it feels recycled from “White Castle” and probably won’t be universally remembered when bigger and better movies come around. Sure, SVU’s Christopher Meloni was highly amusing as the KKK’s Grand Wizard and Neil Patrick Harris is back to his old disorderly self, but most of it felt like different incarnations of the same joke. The exuberance level may not be what it was four years ago, but the fun-spirited exploits are still very much in play. So while I don’t think a third is really necessary, it wouldn’t exactly be the worst thing.
- ** ½ out of 4
Forgetting Sarah Marshall and Paranoid Park
“Forgetting Sarah Marshall” is the latest entry into the Apatovian house of self-deprecating wonders and, in my opinion, a lot sharper and more broadly accessible than last year’s adolescent sex frolic “Superbad.” Written by and starring Jason Segel, this film approaches all of the tension and awkward nuances surrounding a breakup in such a sensible way that every painfully funny piece of dialogue rings true in one way or another. The essential element of any Apatow production is the indispensability of every character, so when you combine the exceptional talents of Segel, Paul Rudd, Bill Hader, and Jonah Hill, the possibility of experiencing one of the funniest pictures ever made is significantly elevated.
Here, Segel plays Peter Bretter, a flailing twenty-something musician devoted to laying around, eating Fruit Loops, and maintaining serious aspirations to compose a Dracula-inspired rock opera featuring hand puppets. His dream relationship with television hottie Sarah Marshall (Kristen Bell) comes to an abrupt end when she tells him she’s found someone else, but certainly not before he subjects her (and the audience) to his own version of the full monty. So where does a guy with no girlfriend, limited financial comfort, and dwindling career prospects go to alleviate his suffering? Hawaii, of course!
Ah yes, Hawaii. The quintessential backdrop for any single guy looking to score as well as a jackpot of comedic possibility. What could possibly go wrong? Well, upon checking into his hotel, Peter is shocked to find Sarah and her new love interest staying at the exact same location, so it appears that every move he makes just brings him closer and closer to reliving the extreme heartbreak. Luckily, the stunningly gorgeous Rachel (Mila Kunis) is working the front desk and interested in helping Peter forget about the agonizing stretch spent watching Sarah fall for a sex-addicted British rock star. Their budding relationship is odd, sweet, and ripe with enough laugh-out-loud moments to satisfy even the most skeptical filmgoer.
Every great comedy has that one moment where its excellence is solidified and, for me, the scene in which Segel performs a raucous number from his opera while out with Rachel earns that distinction. The concept is so madcap that only in another Apatow film would you be likely to find something as silly and off the wall, so I have to hand it to Segel for fearlessly putting his inner nerd on display.
Is it better than “Knocked Up?” Maybe, but I’ll have to see it a second time before making any definitive judgments. I will say that if you found yourself in fits over Jonah Hill’s creepy obsession in “Superbad,” chances are you’ll feel right at home during this every minute of this flick’s sidesplitting antics.
- *** ½ out of 4
There’s a scene toward the middle of Gus Van Sant’s “Paranoid Park” in which a group of fearlessly disaffected skateboarders are marching down the hall of their high school as if they actually buy into all that us-against-the-world riffraff. I mean, the only thing missing from that sensationalistic setting is the agitating lyrical precision of Iggy Pop and the Stooges to further shine a light on how these societal dissidents have been disrespected by mainstream commercialism. Their sole purpose at this point in time is to chill at the park and act in a manner that will preserve whatever shred of self-identity they have left, so while parents are often heard, they’re rarely seen.
That said, Van Sant’s film is actually one of the more intriguing pictures to come along so far this year. His scope is cleverly centered around a conflicted youth named Alex, who inadvertently causes the death of a security guard while hopping a train one night after leaving the skate park.
The remorse steadily builds as the police arrive to question anyone who might’ve been skating that night, but Alex is too fixated on the consequences to confess to anyone, let alone New York’s finest. Not even his girlfriend can pry any valuable information out of him, so their relationship doesn’t appear to be something either of them are too wholeheartedly committed to maintaining.
If this sounds like a rather bleak film, that’s because it is. Van Sant has become increasingly dedicated to the art house frame of mind and tries to distance himself from anything resembling a money-making studio picture. The skateboarding shots are filmed in a very grainy, back alley fashion as if to give a shout out to all the “Lords of Dogtown” devotees who just can’t get enough, so unless you’re a serious skater or an avid cinephile, may I suggest spending time on something with explosions and a drastically quicker pace.
- *** out of 4
Here, Segel plays Peter Bretter, a flailing twenty-something musician devoted to laying around, eating Fruit Loops, and maintaining serious aspirations to compose a Dracula-inspired rock opera featuring hand puppets. His dream relationship with television hottie Sarah Marshall (Kristen Bell) comes to an abrupt end when she tells him she’s found someone else, but certainly not before he subjects her (and the audience) to his own version of the full monty. So where does a guy with no girlfriend, limited financial comfort, and dwindling career prospects go to alleviate his suffering? Hawaii, of course!
Ah yes, Hawaii. The quintessential backdrop for any single guy looking to score as well as a jackpot of comedic possibility. What could possibly go wrong? Well, upon checking into his hotel, Peter is shocked to find Sarah and her new love interest staying at the exact same location, so it appears that every move he makes just brings him closer and closer to reliving the extreme heartbreak. Luckily, the stunningly gorgeous Rachel (Mila Kunis) is working the front desk and interested in helping Peter forget about the agonizing stretch spent watching Sarah fall for a sex-addicted British rock star. Their budding relationship is odd, sweet, and ripe with enough laugh-out-loud moments to satisfy even the most skeptical filmgoer.
Every great comedy has that one moment where its excellence is solidified and, for me, the scene in which Segel performs a raucous number from his opera while out with Rachel earns that distinction. The concept is so madcap that only in another Apatow film would you be likely to find something as silly and off the wall, so I have to hand it to Segel for fearlessly putting his inner nerd on display.
Is it better than “Knocked Up?” Maybe, but I’ll have to see it a second time before making any definitive judgments. I will say that if you found yourself in fits over Jonah Hill’s creepy obsession in “Superbad,” chances are you’ll feel right at home during this every minute of this flick’s sidesplitting antics.
- *** ½ out of 4
There’s a scene toward the middle of Gus Van Sant’s “Paranoid Park” in which a group of fearlessly disaffected skateboarders are marching down the hall of their high school as if they actually buy into all that us-against-the-world riffraff. I mean, the only thing missing from that sensationalistic setting is the agitating lyrical precision of Iggy Pop and the Stooges to further shine a light on how these societal dissidents have been disrespected by mainstream commercialism. Their sole purpose at this point in time is to chill at the park and act in a manner that will preserve whatever shred of self-identity they have left, so while parents are often heard, they’re rarely seen.
That said, Van Sant’s film is actually one of the more intriguing pictures to come along so far this year. His scope is cleverly centered around a conflicted youth named Alex, who inadvertently causes the death of a security guard while hopping a train one night after leaving the skate park.
The remorse steadily builds as the police arrive to question anyone who might’ve been skating that night, but Alex is too fixated on the consequences to confess to anyone, let alone New York’s finest. Not even his girlfriend can pry any valuable information out of him, so their relationship doesn’t appear to be something either of them are too wholeheartedly committed to maintaining.
If this sounds like a rather bleak film, that’s because it is. Van Sant has become increasingly dedicated to the art house frame of mind and tries to distance himself from anything resembling a money-making studio picture. The skateboarding shots are filmed in a very grainy, back alley fashion as if to give a shout out to all the “Lords of Dogtown” devotees who just can’t get enough, so unless you’re a serious skater or an avid cinephile, may I suggest spending time on something with explosions and a drastically quicker pace.
- *** out of 4
An American Crime and Iron Man
Not since Kathy Bates in “Misery” have I witnessed a spitefully merciless female villain quite like Catherine Keener in “An American Crime.” Her every move is guided by a childlike desire for authority yet she’s so boggled down by pharmaceuticals and cantankerous insecurity that the line between parent and oppressor is sternly diluted. She runs her house not as a home, but as a tyrannical fear factory in which children cower in her presence and timidly acquiesce to her every demand.
Taking on a despicable being such as Gertrude Baniszewski requires a no-frills line of attack and Keener is certainly not one to hold back. It would’ve been easy to turn this woman into an archetypical monster, but instead, she opts for a richer portrayal of how an unhinged matriarch tried to hide her sadism behind a wall of stress-induced chain smoking.
The only thing keeping this film from being completely unwatchable is another shattering performance from twenty-one-year-old sensation Ellen Page. Once again, she disappears into her character and evokes an overwhelming emotional reaction throughout every morsel of her screen time. Sylvia Likens was truly an innocent victim and the creators of this difficult picture do nothing to sugarcoat any of the unspeakable cruelties she was forced to endure.
Due to its objectionable nature, I assume this film probably won’t be given the attention and exposure it deserves, but that to me is just another sorry example of people turning a blind eye to a horrific event. The fact that this really happened back in 1965 shouldn’t sit well with any morally respectable individual. To this day, it’s regarded as the most appalling crime ever committed in the state of Indiana and, after watching this film, it’s hard to disagree.
- *** ½ out of 4
“Iron Man” is everything a bombastic Summer thrill ride should be. It has an electric lead performance from Robert Downey Jr., a radiant beauty in Gwyneth Paltrow, and enough high-octane combat to appease even the most demanding fanboys. The first hour is simply terrific as we follow Tony Stark on his tumultuous path to moral salvation and I could’ve easily sat through another hour of just his quick-witted, booze-filled escapades. But is that really what general audiences want to see?
Probably not, so of course director Jon Favreau and Co. conjure up some pretty stirring action sequences involving Stark and his sinisterly screwball mentor Obadiah Stane (Jeff Bridges), but the film moves along just as smoothly during the prickly banter between Downey and Paltrow. Their natural chemistry is pitch perfect throughout and, in my mind, elevates the everyday comic book material to a level that Ang Lee’s “Hulk” desperately called for.
For the first official blockbuster of the year, this one definitely exceeded expectations and left me feeling strangely optimistic about what Hollywood will dish out over the next fiscal quarter. While Downey chose the cocky, charismatic route, Edward Norton will most likely follow a much bleaker and more brooding trail in Louis Leterrier‘s “The Incredible Hulk,” so, for once, the Marvel train might actually be headed in the right direction.
- *** ½ out of 4
Taking on a despicable being such as Gertrude Baniszewski requires a no-frills line of attack and Keener is certainly not one to hold back. It would’ve been easy to turn this woman into an archetypical monster, but instead, she opts for a richer portrayal of how an unhinged matriarch tried to hide her sadism behind a wall of stress-induced chain smoking.
The only thing keeping this film from being completely unwatchable is another shattering performance from twenty-one-year-old sensation Ellen Page. Once again, she disappears into her character and evokes an overwhelming emotional reaction throughout every morsel of her screen time. Sylvia Likens was truly an innocent victim and the creators of this difficult picture do nothing to sugarcoat any of the unspeakable cruelties she was forced to endure.
Due to its objectionable nature, I assume this film probably won’t be given the attention and exposure it deserves, but that to me is just another sorry example of people turning a blind eye to a horrific event. The fact that this really happened back in 1965 shouldn’t sit well with any morally respectable individual. To this day, it’s regarded as the most appalling crime ever committed in the state of Indiana and, after watching this film, it’s hard to disagree.
- *** ½ out of 4
“Iron Man” is everything a bombastic Summer thrill ride should be. It has an electric lead performance from Robert Downey Jr., a radiant beauty in Gwyneth Paltrow, and enough high-octane combat to appease even the most demanding fanboys. The first hour is simply terrific as we follow Tony Stark on his tumultuous path to moral salvation and I could’ve easily sat through another hour of just his quick-witted, booze-filled escapades. But is that really what general audiences want to see?
Probably not, so of course director Jon Favreau and Co. conjure up some pretty stirring action sequences involving Stark and his sinisterly screwball mentor Obadiah Stane (Jeff Bridges), but the film moves along just as smoothly during the prickly banter between Downey and Paltrow. Their natural chemistry is pitch perfect throughout and, in my mind, elevates the everyday comic book material to a level that Ang Lee’s “Hulk” desperately called for.
For the first official blockbuster of the year, this one definitely exceeded expectations and left me feeling strangely optimistic about what Hollywood will dish out over the next fiscal quarter. While Downey chose the cocky, charismatic route, Edward Norton will most likely follow a much bleaker and more brooding trail in Louis Leterrier‘s “The Incredible Hulk,” so, for once, the Marvel train might actually be headed in the right direction.
- *** ½ out of 4
Flawless and Funny Games
To call a film “Flawless” is to impose an awfully iniquitous amount of pressure on the cast and crew to deliver a product that lives up to such a lofty title. Why anyone would choose to tackle such a thankless task is baffling, but that’s exactly what director Michael Radford (“Il Postino”) has done with his latest film. Starring Demi Moore and Michael Caine, this posh 1960’s caper tries to inject some new blood into the seemingly infinite supply of erudite heist flicks and almost succeeds in doing something worthwhile.
Caine is stellar as Mr. Hobbs, an overworked janitor with a few tricks up his sleeve and single-handedly carries this lackluster material most of the way. He sports his swanky British regality so well that we’re stuck wondering how in the world a smooth-talking wiseacre like this would be relegated to a career in the custodial arts. After divulging his diabolical plan to pilfer over two tons of diamonds from the London Diamond Corporation, his partnership with Moore’s Miss Quinn becomes a slippery slope which either of them could fall off at any moment. The only thing holding them together is Miss Quinn’s mounting consternation over the lack of respect she receives from management, so the chauvinistic overtones only fuel her contempt even more.
Moore tries her best to pull off the English accent and make people forget that it’s her they’re watching as a ritzy working woman, but I just couldn’t do it. She struggles to find the right note and never allows the character to completely engulf her rigid exterior. Not once did I actually believe that she was the kind of woman who would sacrifice her entire livelihood on a whim, but then again, her marriage to Ashton Kutcher isn’t too far off. I kid, I kid.
- ** ½ out of 4
Michael Haneke’s “Funny Games” is so unbearably disagreeable that it really defies any type of star rating. Just the thought of two baby-faced teenage sociopaths reeking havoc on an upper-class family using the most excruciating schemes possible is enough to make you wonder what unbalanced studio head actually gave the green light to this ruthless exhibition. The fact that Haneke’s home country of Germany regards this stuff as shrewd commentary on America’s bloodthirsty penchant for sadism only adds to the craziness, because every time the little Hitlers speak into the camera, we’re supposed to feel appalled by our mere presence in the theatre.
Who’s really being punished here? Us or the seemingly innocent country clubbers fighting for their lives on screen? If condemning society for its fascination with violence is what Haneke was truly after, he clearly should’ve avoided coming off so smug and ostentatious in his delivery. Every scene is just another way for him to push the envelope and see how many moviegoer’s days he can ruin before the sun comes up, so if you’re easily rattled, think twice about going in.
All cruelty aside, the performances from Naomi Watts and Tim Roth are quite extraordinary given the distasteful subject matter. I’m still baffled as to why they chose this for their latest project, but I can’t say anything negative about their dedication to making it as viciously convincing as possible. No matter how much I wanted to, I couldn’t look away, so Haneke might not be that nutty after all. Right?
- Like I said before, no star rating is necessary.
Caine is stellar as Mr. Hobbs, an overworked janitor with a few tricks up his sleeve and single-handedly carries this lackluster material most of the way. He sports his swanky British regality so well that we’re stuck wondering how in the world a smooth-talking wiseacre like this would be relegated to a career in the custodial arts. After divulging his diabolical plan to pilfer over two tons of diamonds from the London Diamond Corporation, his partnership with Moore’s Miss Quinn becomes a slippery slope which either of them could fall off at any moment. The only thing holding them together is Miss Quinn’s mounting consternation over the lack of respect she receives from management, so the chauvinistic overtones only fuel her contempt even more.
Moore tries her best to pull off the English accent and make people forget that it’s her they’re watching as a ritzy working woman, but I just couldn’t do it. She struggles to find the right note and never allows the character to completely engulf her rigid exterior. Not once did I actually believe that she was the kind of woman who would sacrifice her entire livelihood on a whim, but then again, her marriage to Ashton Kutcher isn’t too far off. I kid, I kid.
- ** ½ out of 4
Michael Haneke’s “Funny Games” is so unbearably disagreeable that it really defies any type of star rating. Just the thought of two baby-faced teenage sociopaths reeking havoc on an upper-class family using the most excruciating schemes possible is enough to make you wonder what unbalanced studio head actually gave the green light to this ruthless exhibition. The fact that Haneke’s home country of Germany regards this stuff as shrewd commentary on America’s bloodthirsty penchant for sadism only adds to the craziness, because every time the little Hitlers speak into the camera, we’re supposed to feel appalled by our mere presence in the theatre.
Who’s really being punished here? Us or the seemingly innocent country clubbers fighting for their lives on screen? If condemning society for its fascination with violence is what Haneke was truly after, he clearly should’ve avoided coming off so smug and ostentatious in his delivery. Every scene is just another way for him to push the envelope and see how many moviegoer’s days he can ruin before the sun comes up, so if you’re easily rattled, think twice about going in.
All cruelty aside, the performances from Naomi Watts and Tim Roth are quite extraordinary given the distasteful subject matter. I’m still baffled as to why they chose this for their latest project, but I can’t say anything negative about their dedication to making it as viciously convincing as possible. No matter how much I wanted to, I couldn’t look away, so Haneke might not be that nutty after all. Right?
- Like I said before, no star rating is necessary.
Cloverfield
J.J. Abrams may have only been the producer behind “Cloverfield,” but his visual ferocity and unwavering propensity for theatrical build-up are sprinkled all throughout this 85-minute Godzilla-meets- YouTube extravaganza. Seen entirely through the lens of a handheld camera, this film is piercing, jittery, and more deeply enthralling than most monster movies can ever dream of being. The audience is transported right into the heart of mid-town Manhattan where a mystifying creature has brought the hammer down on everything in sight and, although bits and pieces of the beast are shown, ambiguity still reigns supreme at each point in the madness.
Initially, I had doubts as to whether or not the finished product could possibly live up to the hype generated by the trailer, but upon screening it, I can definitively say that Abrams and Co. deliver in intensely exhilarating fashion. Sure, the characters are obnoxious and proceed to make one inane judgment after another, but the absurd naivety of these people had no bearing on my overall satisfaction. If you ask me, the real stars here are the production team who, equipped with a rather modest budget, orchestrate a stunning recreation of New York City on a California soundstage without any reservations about their ardor or authenticity. Some scenes are so spot on that the uncanny parallel with 9/11 is sure to stick with people long after they’ve left the theatre.
I don’t usually say this, but to truly experience the white-knuckle adrenaline rush that this film promises, the whimsical ambiance of your local megaplex is an imperative. Somehow, I just can’t see anyone maximizing their viewing pleasure by popping in the DVD on a Sunday afternoon and expecting to be altogether gripped by the anarchical chaos that director Matt Reeves develops. An all-out monster flick such as this is a perfect opportunity to shell out the $9.75 necessary for admission and be wildly entertained by people who know exactly what today’s audiences are looking for. After all, the WGA is still picketing.
- *** ½ out of 4
Initially, I had doubts as to whether or not the finished product could possibly live up to the hype generated by the trailer, but upon screening it, I can definitively say that Abrams and Co. deliver in intensely exhilarating fashion. Sure, the characters are obnoxious and proceed to make one inane judgment after another, but the absurd naivety of these people had no bearing on my overall satisfaction. If you ask me, the real stars here are the production team who, equipped with a rather modest budget, orchestrate a stunning recreation of New York City on a California soundstage without any reservations about their ardor or authenticity. Some scenes are so spot on that the uncanny parallel with 9/11 is sure to stick with people long after they’ve left the theatre.
I don’t usually say this, but to truly experience the white-knuckle adrenaline rush that this film promises, the whimsical ambiance of your local megaplex is an imperative. Somehow, I just can’t see anyone maximizing their viewing pleasure by popping in the DVD on a Sunday afternoon and expecting to be altogether gripped by the anarchical chaos that director Matt Reeves develops. An all-out monster flick such as this is a perfect opportunity to shell out the $9.75 necessary for admission and be wildly entertained by people who know exactly what today’s audiences are looking for. After all, the WGA is still picketing.
- *** ½ out of 4
2008 Summer Movie Preview
Well, it has begun. The 2008 Summer movie season is upon us and, for once, there’s not an ogre or swashbuckler in sight. Instead, we have a dashing archaeologist, an intrepid caped crusader, and four sprightly femme fatales from Manhattan prepared to follow Iron Man’s lead and carry us through to the four month crapshoot known as Oscar season. Records will be broken, prices will rise, and a whole new generation of filmgoers will be swept up in the scintillating euphoria of Tinseltown, but the million dollar question still remains: Can studios deliver the goods?
I’d like to think so, but if last year’s sequel-happy crop was any indication, these corporate-dominated yes-men aren’t always infallible in their script selection. Despite grossing over $9 billion in 2007 alone, none of the major blockbusters had the excellence to match their mind-boggling allure. Instead of the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly, we had the superb (“The Bourne Ultimatum”), the substandard (“POTC: At World’s End“), and the downright ghastly (Rob Zombie’s “Halloween”). Then again, isn’t that what Summer is all about?
We’re given a few great ones, a few bad ones, and the rest are just caught in the shuffle hoping to find a resurgence courtesy of Blockbuster and Netflix. So without further adieu, I present twenty films that I believe will provide clear and convincing evidence that the lost art of movie-going is indeed alive and well in the immediate-gratification capital of the world.
May
“Speed Racer” - Five years after their beloved brain child “The Matrix” came to a disastrous conclusion, the Brothers Wachowski return with this revamped Willy Wonka version of everyone’s favorite 1960’s Japanese cartoon. Emile Hirsch assumes the title role in what looks like another piece of mind-numbing eye candy, but I expect that anyone under the age of ten would have a blast indulging in the sights and sounds of this Nascar-on-steroids speed fest.
“The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian” - Fans of C.S. Lewis’s spellbinding fantasy novels will find themselves enthralled by the whimsical effects and glaring religious overtones, but seeing as how it’s essentially sandwiched between “Iron Man” and “Indiana Jones,” the ticket sales may fail to impress.
“Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull” - At 65, Harrison Ford is once again donning the hat and cracking the whip in hopes of successfully resurrecting one of Hollywood’s most illustrious icons. Personally, I’ll be in line opening night regardless of any negative buzz, because it can’t possibly be as bad as “The Phantom Menace” right?
“Sex and the City: The Movie” - I’ve never watched the show and have no interest in seeing it, but something tells me that women between the ages of twenty-five and forty-five will come out in droves and drag their significant others with them.
June
“The Incredible Hulk” - Replacing Eric Bana with Edward Norton will bring much-needed introspection and force to this franchise, so I’m hoping that director Louis Leterrier is prepared to rise to the occasion. As long as he lets Norton do his thing and puts substance before style, we could be looking at serious contender in the overall box office picture.
“The Happening” - Shyamalan’s career is floundering following “The Village” and “Lady in the Water,” so he’s in dire need of both a critical and financial rebound. Most of the plot is under wraps, but the inspired casting of Mark Wahlberg and Zooey Deschanel should make for a rousing two hours of apocalyptic bedlam.
“Wall-E” - Pixar is on a creative hot streak after churning out “Cars” and “Ratatouille” in ‘06 and ‘07 respectively and this tale of a robotic trash-compactor has the potential to be their best ever. Voice work from Jeff Garlin, Fred Willard, and Sigourney Weaver will further add to the appeal.
“The Love Guru” - I think it’s safe to say that fans of Mike Myers would’ve been happier with a fourth Austin Powers film. Unfortunately, we’re stuck with this oddball picture about an American self-help guru trying to repair the shattered relationship of an NHL superstar.
“Get Smart” - Steve Carell is arguably the funniest comedic performer on the planet and his work on “The 40-Year-Old Virgin” and “The Office” is pure genius, so while I’m not sold on this film as a whole, his presence should make it watchable.
July
“Hancock” - “Will Smith as an alcoholic superhero trying to repair his image” is all I need to hear to know it’ll be a smash.
“Hellboy II: The Golden Army” - I have to admit that I haven’t seen the first one, so I can’t really shed any light on where exactly this sequel is headed. However, I have seen Guillermo del Toro’s magnificent work on “Pan’s Labyrinth” and “The Devil’s Backbone,” so I’m sure he’ll adhere to the same standard of excellence.
“The Dark Knight” - I can’t possibly say anything that hasn’t already been said a thousand times over.
“Step Brothers” - Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly as two grown men who become brothers after their single parents tie the knot. Throw in writer/director Adam McKay (“Anchorman”) and this tiresome premise could have some life left after all.
“The X-Files: I Want to Believe” - Ten years have passed since Mulder and Scully last graced the silver screen, but their chemistry is still as passionate as it’s ever been. Director Chris Carter has been mute on the plot and doesn’t appear to be cracking anytime soon. As if we expected anything less.
August
“The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor” - I know, I know. Why did we need another chapter of this overblown adventure farce? Well, I can’t say what Cohen was thinking, but with Fraser back and Jet Li thrown into the fire, how bad could it be?
“Pineapple Express” - David Gordon Green tackles this stoner romp starring Seth Rogen and James Franco. If the trailer is any indication, it’s going to be hilarious.
“Tropic Thunder” - Ben Stiller, Jack Black, and Robert Downey Jr. star as actors who travel to Vietnam to film a war movie and end up involved in a real-life conflict. Any questions?
“Bangkok Dangerous” - Nicolas Cage gallivanting around Thailand with a bunch of unknowns? Count me in.
“The International” - Clive Owen as an Interpol agent trying to dismantle an international arms dealer. Naomi Watts also stars.
“Babylon A.D.” - Vin Diesel and Michelle Yeoh take on a lethal virus that could wipe out the entire population. My thoughts exactly.
I’d like to think so, but if last year’s sequel-happy crop was any indication, these corporate-dominated yes-men aren’t always infallible in their script selection. Despite grossing over $9 billion in 2007 alone, none of the major blockbusters had the excellence to match their mind-boggling allure. Instead of the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly, we had the superb (“The Bourne Ultimatum”), the substandard (“POTC: At World’s End“), and the downright ghastly (Rob Zombie’s “Halloween”). Then again, isn’t that what Summer is all about?
We’re given a few great ones, a few bad ones, and the rest are just caught in the shuffle hoping to find a resurgence courtesy of Blockbuster and Netflix. So without further adieu, I present twenty films that I believe will provide clear and convincing evidence that the lost art of movie-going is indeed alive and well in the immediate-gratification capital of the world.
May
“Speed Racer” - Five years after their beloved brain child “The Matrix” came to a disastrous conclusion, the Brothers Wachowski return with this revamped Willy Wonka version of everyone’s favorite 1960’s Japanese cartoon. Emile Hirsch assumes the title role in what looks like another piece of mind-numbing eye candy, but I expect that anyone under the age of ten would have a blast indulging in the sights and sounds of this Nascar-on-steroids speed fest.
“The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian” - Fans of C.S. Lewis’s spellbinding fantasy novels will find themselves enthralled by the whimsical effects and glaring religious overtones, but seeing as how it’s essentially sandwiched between “Iron Man” and “Indiana Jones,” the ticket sales may fail to impress.
“Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull” - At 65, Harrison Ford is once again donning the hat and cracking the whip in hopes of successfully resurrecting one of Hollywood’s most illustrious icons. Personally, I’ll be in line opening night regardless of any negative buzz, because it can’t possibly be as bad as “The Phantom Menace” right?
“Sex and the City: The Movie” - I’ve never watched the show and have no interest in seeing it, but something tells me that women between the ages of twenty-five and forty-five will come out in droves and drag their significant others with them.
June
“The Incredible Hulk” - Replacing Eric Bana with Edward Norton will bring much-needed introspection and force to this franchise, so I’m hoping that director Louis Leterrier is prepared to rise to the occasion. As long as he lets Norton do his thing and puts substance before style, we could be looking at serious contender in the overall box office picture.
“The Happening” - Shyamalan’s career is floundering following “The Village” and “Lady in the Water,” so he’s in dire need of both a critical and financial rebound. Most of the plot is under wraps, but the inspired casting of Mark Wahlberg and Zooey Deschanel should make for a rousing two hours of apocalyptic bedlam.
“Wall-E” - Pixar is on a creative hot streak after churning out “Cars” and “Ratatouille” in ‘06 and ‘07 respectively and this tale of a robotic trash-compactor has the potential to be their best ever. Voice work from Jeff Garlin, Fred Willard, and Sigourney Weaver will further add to the appeal.
“The Love Guru” - I think it’s safe to say that fans of Mike Myers would’ve been happier with a fourth Austin Powers film. Unfortunately, we’re stuck with this oddball picture about an American self-help guru trying to repair the shattered relationship of an NHL superstar.
“Get Smart” - Steve Carell is arguably the funniest comedic performer on the planet and his work on “The 40-Year-Old Virgin” and “The Office” is pure genius, so while I’m not sold on this film as a whole, his presence should make it watchable.
July
“Hancock” - “Will Smith as an alcoholic superhero trying to repair his image” is all I need to hear to know it’ll be a smash.
“Hellboy II: The Golden Army” - I have to admit that I haven’t seen the first one, so I can’t really shed any light on where exactly this sequel is headed. However, I have seen Guillermo del Toro’s magnificent work on “Pan’s Labyrinth” and “The Devil’s Backbone,” so I’m sure he’ll adhere to the same standard of excellence.
“The Dark Knight” - I can’t possibly say anything that hasn’t already been said a thousand times over.
“Step Brothers” - Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly as two grown men who become brothers after their single parents tie the knot. Throw in writer/director Adam McKay (“Anchorman”) and this tiresome premise could have some life left after all.
“The X-Files: I Want to Believe” - Ten years have passed since Mulder and Scully last graced the silver screen, but their chemistry is still as passionate as it’s ever been. Director Chris Carter has been mute on the plot and doesn’t appear to be cracking anytime soon. As if we expected anything less.
August
“The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor” - I know, I know. Why did we need another chapter of this overblown adventure farce? Well, I can’t say what Cohen was thinking, but with Fraser back and Jet Li thrown into the fire, how bad could it be?
“Pineapple Express” - David Gordon Green tackles this stoner romp starring Seth Rogen and James Franco. If the trailer is any indication, it’s going to be hilarious.
“Tropic Thunder” - Ben Stiller, Jack Black, and Robert Downey Jr. star as actors who travel to Vietnam to film a war movie and end up involved in a real-life conflict. Any questions?
“Bangkok Dangerous” - Nicolas Cage gallivanting around Thailand with a bunch of unknowns? Count me in.
“The International” - Clive Owen as an Interpol agent trying to dismantle an international arms dealer. Naomi Watts also stars.
“Babylon A.D.” - Vin Diesel and Michelle Yeoh take on a lethal virus that could wipe out the entire population. My thoughts exactly.
Recount
Why Jay Roach? Why do you insist on drumming up these rancid, eight-year-old feelings of woe and disillusionment that I thought were successfully stowed away in the sizzling recesses of my inquisitive mind? Seriously, do you really think I want to relive the inconceivable gaffe that was the 2000 presidential election while we Americans are still paying through the nose in every way possible? I’d like to believe that your new film “Recount” is just a petrifying glimpse into a bizarro world full of gutless pen pushers and archaic voting practices, but one look at the pump is all I need to jolt me back to reality.
Yes, the election did happen and yes, the fate of the nation was in effect hanging by a chad that no one really knew how to handle. How in the year 2000 does the most important political race in the world come to be decided in such an embarrassingly haphazard fashion might you ask? Well, that question has haunted people for years and rather than continue to rant, I’ll just assume that a legitimate explanation will never be provided. After all, this is a movie review…not a political pig roast.
As for the film, I can honestly say it’s one of the tightest and most compelling I’ve seen all year. The script by Danny Strong just crackles with all the passion and finely honed intellect you can ask from a political thriller and seldom hits a false note. Sure, it’s biased, but aren’t all films biased in some way, shape, or form? Don’t they all reflect the individual outlook and ideology of the creators? Would people still be complaining had it been written from a Republican perspective? This is just one man’s take on the folly in Florida and I think he captures the madness with stellar precision.
Kevin Spacey stars as Gore’s former Chief of Staff Ron Klain and delivers some of his finest work in years as the feisty, cutthroat lawyer who did everything he could to ensure that every vote was counted. For those who have seen 2000’s “The Big Kahuna,” you’re more than familiar with Spacey’s ability to fluently tear through dialogue and here he’s nearing at his acerbic best. His scenes with Michael Whouley (Denis Leary) are certainly where the film rides highest and Leary is the perfect actor to echo Spacey’s motor mouth technique. Together, they launch an astounding barrage of malice toward the Florida Supreme Court and keep Secretary of State Katherine Harris (Laura Dern) forever on her heels.
Dern tries her best to capture the bubbly panache of Secretary Harris, but the character is way too watered-down to become anything other than a vacant caricature. She‘s a terrific actress, but simply had the misfortune of falling victim to one of Strong’s rare creative miscues.
The role of former Secretary of State James Baker, on the other hand, is handled superbly by Tom Wilkinson and he gallantly patrols the screen like the seasoned veteran that he is. After an Oscar-nominated turn in “Michael Clayton” and a vividly quirky take on Ben Franklin in HBO’s “John Adams,” he appears to be on an artistic hot streak with no end in sight.
Since we’re not used to seeing director Jay Roach handle this type of material, I have to say that it was refreshing to know that he can manage more than just “Meet the Parents” and “Austin Powers.” His pacing is more than sufficient, but the cast is so good here that he really doesn’t need to go out of his way to be successful. No matter how infuriated I felt at the outcome, the absurdity of it all was enough to deaden the pain and make me laugh out loud at much of what the system deems acceptable. With another controversial election looming, I can’t really say anything other than “Let the fun begin!”
- *** ½ out of 4
Yes, the election did happen and yes, the fate of the nation was in effect hanging by a chad that no one really knew how to handle. How in the year 2000 does the most important political race in the world come to be decided in such an embarrassingly haphazard fashion might you ask? Well, that question has haunted people for years and rather than continue to rant, I’ll just assume that a legitimate explanation will never be provided. After all, this is a movie review…not a political pig roast.
As for the film, I can honestly say it’s one of the tightest and most compelling I’ve seen all year. The script by Danny Strong just crackles with all the passion and finely honed intellect you can ask from a political thriller and seldom hits a false note. Sure, it’s biased, but aren’t all films biased in some way, shape, or form? Don’t they all reflect the individual outlook and ideology of the creators? Would people still be complaining had it been written from a Republican perspective? This is just one man’s take on the folly in Florida and I think he captures the madness with stellar precision.
Kevin Spacey stars as Gore’s former Chief of Staff Ron Klain and delivers some of his finest work in years as the feisty, cutthroat lawyer who did everything he could to ensure that every vote was counted. For those who have seen 2000’s “The Big Kahuna,” you’re more than familiar with Spacey’s ability to fluently tear through dialogue and here he’s nearing at his acerbic best. His scenes with Michael Whouley (Denis Leary) are certainly where the film rides highest and Leary is the perfect actor to echo Spacey’s motor mouth technique. Together, they launch an astounding barrage of malice toward the Florida Supreme Court and keep Secretary of State Katherine Harris (Laura Dern) forever on her heels.
Dern tries her best to capture the bubbly panache of Secretary Harris, but the character is way too watered-down to become anything other than a vacant caricature. She‘s a terrific actress, but simply had the misfortune of falling victim to one of Strong’s rare creative miscues.
The role of former Secretary of State James Baker, on the other hand, is handled superbly by Tom Wilkinson and he gallantly patrols the screen like the seasoned veteran that he is. After an Oscar-nominated turn in “Michael Clayton” and a vividly quirky take on Ben Franklin in HBO’s “John Adams,” he appears to be on an artistic hot streak with no end in sight.
Since we’re not used to seeing director Jay Roach handle this type of material, I have to say that it was refreshing to know that he can manage more than just “Meet the Parents” and “Austin Powers.” His pacing is more than sufficient, but the cast is so good here that he really doesn’t need to go out of his way to be successful. No matter how infuriated I felt at the outcome, the absurdity of it all was enough to deaden the pain and make me laugh out loud at much of what the system deems acceptable. With another controversial election looming, I can’t really say anything other than “Let the fun begin!”
- *** ½ out of 4
You Don't Mess With the Zohan
You know how some things in life are just so shamefully gauche that you can’t help but chuckle hysterically? Well, that’s how I felt during Adam Sandler’s latest uproarious venture into the world of rollicking indecency aptly titled “You Don’t Mess With the Zohan” in which he plays an Israeli Rambo looking to begin a fresh life as a New York City hair stylist. Every bit was either insanely outlandish or just plain insane, but I have to admit that I laughed often enough to recommend it to those who enjoy the zany shenanigans of Happy Madison Productions (Sorry, I must be stuck in “Juno” mode).
The first fifteen minutes or so are basically a series of outrageous stunts designed to exemplify the sheer strength and supremacy of Zohan’s combat arsenal, so we’re given plenty of shots featuring soaring backflips and Jackie Chan-esque pugnacity that never amount to much more than a springboard to the film’s real objective. Sure, watching him catch bullets in his nostril can be a hoot, but the ill-mannered slapstick that follows can be so much more fun, don’t you think? After all, a film that credits raunch-master Judd Apatow as a screenwriter is bound to have its fair share of unapologetic vulgarity to please the diehards and the moment Zohan arrives in NYC is about the time that Apatow’s contribution makes its presence felt.
When Zohan walks into the struggling salon run by a striking Palestinian woman named Dalia (Emmanuelle Chriqui), he immediately attracts attention due to his flamboyantly unorthodox approach to pleasing his female customers. Under the pseudonym Scrappy Coco, he quickly becomes the most sought-after stylist in lower Manhattan and discovers that his feelings for Dalia must be suppressed due to his hatred for anyone of Palestinian descent. The age-old conflict over race comes up frequently throughout this picture and their attempt at faux-sentimentality toward the end is something I just couldn’t buy into. Think about it. The writers spend the entire time working off racial stereotypes and then decide to neatly wrap everything up with a ceasefire? Somehow that just didn’t work for me, but it’s a minor misfire and I forgive them.
I will say that it was refreshing to see Sandler playing something other than a loudmouth frat-boy type, because he actually creates something pretty comical with this character. His insatiable appetite for women coupled with a bizarre obsession with disco make Zohan a hilariously profane addition to The Sandman’s catalog and hopefully he comes back with something just as rowdy next time around. Is it sophisticated? Of course not, but anything else just wouldn’t be his style.
- *** out of 4
The first fifteen minutes or so are basically a series of outrageous stunts designed to exemplify the sheer strength and supremacy of Zohan’s combat arsenal, so we’re given plenty of shots featuring soaring backflips and Jackie Chan-esque pugnacity that never amount to much more than a springboard to the film’s real objective. Sure, watching him catch bullets in his nostril can be a hoot, but the ill-mannered slapstick that follows can be so much more fun, don’t you think? After all, a film that credits raunch-master Judd Apatow as a screenwriter is bound to have its fair share of unapologetic vulgarity to please the diehards and the moment Zohan arrives in NYC is about the time that Apatow’s contribution makes its presence felt.
When Zohan walks into the struggling salon run by a striking Palestinian woman named Dalia (Emmanuelle Chriqui), he immediately attracts attention due to his flamboyantly unorthodox approach to pleasing his female customers. Under the pseudonym Scrappy Coco, he quickly becomes the most sought-after stylist in lower Manhattan and discovers that his feelings for Dalia must be suppressed due to his hatred for anyone of Palestinian descent. The age-old conflict over race comes up frequently throughout this picture and their attempt at faux-sentimentality toward the end is something I just couldn’t buy into. Think about it. The writers spend the entire time working off racial stereotypes and then decide to neatly wrap everything up with a ceasefire? Somehow that just didn’t work for me, but it’s a minor misfire and I forgive them.
I will say that it was refreshing to see Sandler playing something other than a loudmouth frat-boy type, because he actually creates something pretty comical with this character. His insatiable appetite for women coupled with a bizarre obsession with disco make Zohan a hilariously profane addition to The Sandman’s catalog and hopefully he comes back with something just as rowdy next time around. Is it sophisticated? Of course not, but anything else just wouldn’t be his style.
- *** out of 4
Indy 4
“Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull” feels like a fraught attempt by Steven Spielberg and George Lucas to capitalize on a plunging economy by whisking people away to a time when things were just a little less complicated. Sure, the Korean War was still fresh on the mind and Red Scare hysteria dominated public consciousness, but 1957 was indeed a time of opulent idealism for the American family. In a sense, Indiana Jones embodies all the acumen, gusto, and unwavering tenacity that went into making the ‘50s such a catalyst for economic development, so it’s hard not to get caught up in the ecstasy of adventure that seems to skulk around every curve.
Harrison Ford is back to basics in his signature role and proves once again why he is still somewhat underrated as an actor. After nearly twenty years, he gracefully eases back into this character and, in my opinion, delivers his best performance since 1997’s “Air Force One.” Sure, everyone lauds him for his work on “Star Wars” and this series, but the magnitude of these performances is often lost amidst explosions or other whimsical Spielbergian contraptions. That could’ve easily happened here, but the special effects this time around aren’t quite in the same league as years past, so the actors literally have to bring the thunder for two hours straight.
When the rest of the cast includes Cate Blanchett, Shia LaBeouf, and Karen Allen, I don’t exactly see that as being too much to ask. Blanchett just might be the best thing in the entire picture as her splendid portrayal of sensuous KGB agent Irina Spalko falls somewhere between a snappy dominatrix and Diablo Cody. She’s having a blast playing the villain and I could certainly see her channeling this momentum toward a future character who’s on the wrong side of the law. I enjoyed seeing Allen back, but Blanchett was without a doubt the more captivating female presence.
LaBeouf, on the other hand, could’ve carried this film entirely on his own if given the chance. In true Brando-esque rebellion, he comes barreling in on his Harley prepared to scrap with anyone who dares to glance in his direction. Whether it’s the Russians or the Socs, no one is going to mess with him without feeling the fearsome fury of the switchblade.
The way screenwriter David Koepp deals with all of this makes the whole movie feel like a chaotic mélange of “The Outsiders” and “West Side Story” with a shot of “Close Encounters” thrown in for good measure, which ultimately keeps it from becoming as spectacular as it wants to be.
I’m going to follow Spielberg’s lead and abstain from revealing anything that could jeopardize someone’s ability to fully experience the mystical wonder that is the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. However, I will say that the tone of this film may be an immediate turn-off for diehard Indy-ites, because a younger, more striving Spielberg would’ve gone for broke and let many lines of dialogue remain unsaid. Then again, Spielberg gave birth to the Summer blockbuster back in 1975 and has essentially delivered on every powerhouse picture he’s generated over the last thirty-three years, so while it’s not the best Indy, I sure had a great time.
- *** out of 4
Harrison Ford is back to basics in his signature role and proves once again why he is still somewhat underrated as an actor. After nearly twenty years, he gracefully eases back into this character and, in my opinion, delivers his best performance since 1997’s “Air Force One.” Sure, everyone lauds him for his work on “Star Wars” and this series, but the magnitude of these performances is often lost amidst explosions or other whimsical Spielbergian contraptions. That could’ve easily happened here, but the special effects this time around aren’t quite in the same league as years past, so the actors literally have to bring the thunder for two hours straight.
When the rest of the cast includes Cate Blanchett, Shia LaBeouf, and Karen Allen, I don’t exactly see that as being too much to ask. Blanchett just might be the best thing in the entire picture as her splendid portrayal of sensuous KGB agent Irina Spalko falls somewhere between a snappy dominatrix and Diablo Cody. She’s having a blast playing the villain and I could certainly see her channeling this momentum toward a future character who’s on the wrong side of the law. I enjoyed seeing Allen back, but Blanchett was without a doubt the more captivating female presence.
LaBeouf, on the other hand, could’ve carried this film entirely on his own if given the chance. In true Brando-esque rebellion, he comes barreling in on his Harley prepared to scrap with anyone who dares to glance in his direction. Whether it’s the Russians or the Socs, no one is going to mess with him without feeling the fearsome fury of the switchblade.
The way screenwriter David Koepp deals with all of this makes the whole movie feel like a chaotic mélange of “The Outsiders” and “West Side Story” with a shot of “Close Encounters” thrown in for good measure, which ultimately keeps it from becoming as spectacular as it wants to be.
I’m going to follow Spielberg’s lead and abstain from revealing anything that could jeopardize someone’s ability to fully experience the mystical wonder that is the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. However, I will say that the tone of this film may be an immediate turn-off for diehard Indy-ites, because a younger, more striving Spielberg would’ve gone for broke and let many lines of dialogue remain unsaid. Then again, Spielberg gave birth to the Summer blockbuster back in 1975 and has essentially delivered on every powerhouse picture he’s generated over the last thirty-three years, so while it’s not the best Indy, I sure had a great time.
- *** out of 4
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