The Happening

“The first stage is loss of speech, the second stage is physical disorientation, the third stage is fatal,” and the fourth stage involves being posthumously subjected to a farcically horrid abomination titled “The Happening” from once-magnificent scare master M. Night Shyamalan. Okay, so I made the last one up, but that’s what sitting through ninety minutes of this pseudo-scientific twaddle feels like. Right from the drawn-out opening sequence, I knew this one had debacle written all over it, because Shyamalan insists on generating premature anticipation that rarely follows through on its promises. None of the emotive spirit present in the “The Sixth Sense” or “Signs” ever shows up, so it’s exhausting to muster up even a passive interest in anything that’s happening, or in this case not happening.

First of all, the script is clearly out to become one of those “It seemed like a good idea at the time” faux pas due to its cross between “Outbreak” and “An Inconvenient Truth” and for a while I was thinking things might not be so bad. The mood is genuinely eerie following the citywide evacuation, because we’re given little data as to the nature or source of the threat and flashes of 9/11 undoubtedly ran through my mind at the time. However, the moment the characters open their mouths is about the time I gave up and decided that “The Incredible Hulk” may have been a more rousing selection for a rainy Friday evening.

Seriously Mr. Shyamalan, is this the best you can do? Is treating your characters as if they’re blank slates just waiting for something superfluous to say really what your audience has come to expect? I think not, but the dialogue here just reeks of lazy desperation and I’m shocked that an Oscar-caliber talent such as Mark Wahlberg would sign on to play such a bumbling pushover. I didn’t think anyone could have on-screen chemistry more uncomfortable than Tom Hanks and Audrey Tautou in “The Da Vinci Code,” but Wahlberg and Zooey Deschanel manage to outdo them in nearly every scene. Their emotional range consists primarily of vacant stares, which is precisely what I had during the last half of this film.

Maybe I’m being too harsh, but I just wasn’t into this cluttered environmental nightmare at all. The suspense was non-existent, the pacing was dull, and the carnage took place just so Shyamalan could flex his R-rated muscle. When your most intense scenes are inducing more boisterous laughter than chills, I think you need to reconsider what direction the script is taking and attempt to recapture the supernatural lore that made you a sensation in the first place. He had numerous chances to do that with such a promising foundation, but instead opted to create another trite message movie that constantly gets in its own way.

By the time Betty Buckley lets her inner whack-job loose as a reclusive woodswoman, the film was already past what Kansas would refer to as the “Point of No Return.” Am I surprised at how awful this turned out? No, but I did expect better from a proven commodity. Much better.

- * out of 4

Quid Pro Quo

Carlos Brooks‘ “Quid Pro Quo” is a film that can be both shrewdly fascinating and wickedly disturbing depending on how you look at it. It’s fascinating in the sense that it deals with something I was previously unfamiliar with, but disturbing because the premise revolves around a secret society of people who wish they were paralyzed (Yes, you read that right). Apparently, this bizarre circle of outsiders meets in an undisclosed location to discuss their craving for familial approval and how the aura of the wheelchair makes them feel more alive than ever before. Now, if you base your opinion entirely on that alone, you’ll only be cheating yourself, because what unfolds over these hard-hitting eighty-two minutes is a surprisingly provocative voyage of self-realization that never feels lethargic or put on.

Nick Stahl (Terminator 3) plays Isaac Knott, a paraplegic NPR storyteller who comes across a mysterious able-bodied woman with an inconceivable desire to spend her life in a wheelchair and quickly becomes entranced by her unrefined modus operandi of psychosexual seduction. Their relationship is something of a train wreck at the onset due to his inability to understand her situation, but the way Brooks weaves this Hitchcockian narrative sets the audience up for an experience completely opposed to any sensation of lifeless conventionality. What starts out as an adverse fling transforms about mid-way through into a multifaceted connection that Isaac doesn’t know the half of.

As mature as Stahl appears to be here, the film wouldn’t have packed nearly the same punch without the emotionally hypnotic presence of Vera Farmiga (“The Departed”). She plays Fiona with all the gravity and anguish you’d expect from such a character, so when she’s fuming, we’re fuming right along with her. After 2004’s “Down to the Bone,” Farmiga established herself as an actress who could tackle severely damaged characters and still make the audience care about them, so Fiona is just another inspired step toward juicier roles in the future. It’s not the plush fare usually favored by the Academy, but the acting is superlative nonetheless.

Whether this film is granted a wide release still remains a mystery, but if you’re looking for something a little out of the ordinary, may I suggest trying to find it before the DVD shelves come calling. I know it’s only June, but 2008 has already been an especially strong year for small independent films and I can only hope that studios continue to give the green light to projects as ambitious as this one. I love cash hounds such as “Indiana Jones” and “The Dark Knight” just as much as the next guy, but I also enjoy pictures that challenge people, so for that Mr. Brooks, I applaud you.

- *** ½ out of 4